At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
