So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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