my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
