so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
