I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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