i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
