i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
porn star boner night. come get it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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