He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
