Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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