He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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