Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
