I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
