From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You need Xanax blowdarts
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
