But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
