Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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