1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
