Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
