do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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