he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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