he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
