I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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