Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How naked do you want me to be?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
