I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
