We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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