can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
