My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
