How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
