sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
