It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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