Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
