I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize