i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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