So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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