It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
