Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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