I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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