You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
