I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
