So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
