:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
