He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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