Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
