I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
