omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
