Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
