there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
