I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
