Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
