Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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