Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
