The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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